Thursday, March 29, 2007

Hankies

I've been through two fairly intensely emotional relationships. Both of these people that I was involved with were outspoken and quite dominant in their opinions. At the time, I sank into submission and would often quash my feelings out with that's not the right thing.

I have a thing for men's hankies. I love them, I want them as part of my identity, the way I dress.

Both of these people thought that they were disgusting and inappropriate. Inappropriate because they weren't feminine. Disgusting because they were germ-laden terrible things.

I think they're sauve. I think they beat the arse out of a tissue because you can wash it and use it again. And if you forget that it's in your jeans pocket and wash it, you don't totally stuff the entire rest of the washing load.

I got shot down by these characters in my life who held such a power over me. Then about a year ago, I was spending time with a couple who happened to be my first real lesbian friends. I was in pieces. I was still dealing with the breakup of the last relationship and this couple were being fantastic, so supportive. I was crying - which I hate to admit in public,but this is a blog - and my friend disappeared, and came out with a hanky for me. A man hanky. I was literally stunned. This woman used man hankies. How did she get away with that? I never had!

A world was starting to open up for me where I could answer my own thoughts with yeah, if you want to do that. It's okay.